The last few weeks have been deeply humbling. The week-long silent retreat with Adyashanti was a profound experience, and I walked away moved, and at the beginning of what feels like a major transformation from the deepest part of me.
The silence – the sweet, sweet silence – took me to a place I don’t think I’d ever gone before; to a place where conscious living from the ground of being shone a light on conditioning that had remained in the shadows for many years.
I say the beginning of a transformation; in reality it feels like the quickening of one that’s been going on my whole life, and one that really started to take over a few years ago when I acknowledged deeply my resolve to be free, no matter what.
Every day, I notice this being living more for truth, more for love, noticing habitual patterns more often before I’m triggered by them, instead of the more-usual method of noticing them mid-rage or mid-despair.
Adya’s resounding message: Surrender; a ‘Yes!’ to everything, all the time, sits and resonates deeply, and operates beyond my will more often now, I find myself falling more deeply in love with life, in love with those around me, in love with all things, all arisings, even if those arisings are indigence, weariness, or – as I demonstrated earlier – incredulity at the madness of those in charge. I honour all these arisings, and the devotion for all.
Right now is about surrendering gladly, to everything that is, not with a trust that everything will be alright, but with a willingness to lay myself bare at the altar of the divine – who am I to say what’s right or wrong? Whatever happens is what should be, what *must* be, and I open myself with humble gratitude and delighted devotion to what is.
And the peace and silence that every moment arises from and within grows stronger and more noticeable with every letting go. Yes. Yes. Yes.